Every one of us negotiates. It is part of how we deal with other people surrounding us as a term of agreement on something. Negotiation is done through discussion where emotion is an important aspect of it. The ideas in negotiating were clearly emphasized by the book written by Roger Fisher and Scott Brown entitled Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate.
This book presents the step by step for maintaining and building a relationship that last. It is very applicable in all aspects of life. It can be for business, politics and even personal aspects. According to this book, a relationship needs two people interacting with each other but only one of this person can make the change for the better quality of the relationship they have. As the title itself explains, the relationship gets deeper, better and everlasting if the people involved have a good way of communicating by doing the right way of negotiation.
This book consists of three parts. The first part of this book shows an overview about dealing with the relationship in all aspect. According to the author, the important goal is developing a relationship that can deal well with relationships. There are different relationships that can be created through dealing with different kind of people. These relationships are important to enhance first before solving problems.
The first step in enhancing and creating a good relationship is by extricating relationship issues from substantive ones. Know first the possible relationship issues you’re going to deal with when entering a relationship. As you know them better, you could easily resolve this issues that could lead into problems. The important strategy in doing this is by being unconditionally constructive. Regardless of the circumstances, conditions or exceptions, in a relationship it is important that each person involve should learn to always build the other person up than destroying them by giving compliments to the accomplishments done by the other.
The second part discuss the different basic elements involve a working relationship. There are six elements of a working relationship according to this book. These are rationality, understanding, communication, reliability, persuasion, and acceptance. The first element was rationality. According to the author a person should balance his/her emotion in a given situation with a reason. Next to rationality is understanding. If a person knows how to see and understand things that are happening in their relationship, it could lead into positive reactions. Communication is one of the elements which are very important in a working relationship. A relationship is composed of two or more person so it is very important to consult each person for their advice before deciding to make a move. Communication is a two way process, to give information and to take information that is why it is also important that a person should listen to other people. Another element in a working relationship is the reliability. Being a trustworthy person is very important in a relationship for people to have a good impression to each other. But it is also important that a person will be not wholly trusting because expectation may increase and disappointment may lead its way to ruin the relationship. Another element according to this book was persuasion, not coercion. In this a person can persuade the other but not by the use of authority or by forcing the other to believe and follow. Lastly, acceptance is one of the basic elements that a person should give importance in working a relationship. Learn how to accept the ideas of other but still be rational and reasonable in accepting it. It is important that the other person will feel that somebody is supporting his/her idea and it can be easily shown by accepting it.
Finally, the last part of this book gives the whole point of view of the author regarding the elements in a working relationship. According to the authors, this element when put together and perfectly blended will result into a lasting and good relationship.
An open communication is very important in any kind of relationship or interaction. This book would be very helpful in improving relationships. A group of people interacting and working with each other with the same goal or interest should work a good relationship with each other to aim their goal and be successful. In every group there will always be a leader.
A leader has a very important role in a company or group of people working together. A leader is responsible in making the group work as one; guide the members of the group; be an inspiration to the members; and a good leader should also be a good follower. It is also a part of the roles of a leader that he/she must have a good relationship with his/her members to aim the goal they all wanted to aim. With this book Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate, leaders can learn how to negotiate and interact with his administrators or staff.
An example of a leadership role is being a principal in a school. It is the job of the principal to guide the teachers and other working staff in their school. The principal will set as an inspiration to the people under his/her guidance. The principal should be the guide for the teachers and the working staff to have a good relationship by being rational, understanding, having a good communication with the members, being reliable, knowing the right way of persuasion, and learning how to accept the ideas of others. These are the elements of a working relationship according to the author.
A leader should learn how to incorporate these elements to his/her interaction with the staff working together. This book could help and give more advices on how a leader could deal with relationship problem. Any problem that may arise can be prevented before it happen by the people involved if they have a good relationship built as they negotiate the right way.
Fisher, R., & Brown, S. (1989). Getting together: building relationships as we negotiate. New York, N.Y.: Penguin Books.