A Three-Year Old Relationship
“Better never to have met you in my dreams
Than to wake and reach for the hands that are not there.”
I have been with my partner for more than three years now. We started out as best friends and ended up falling in love each other. Personal differences are undeniably present yet we manage to outgrow our differences and compromise. It might sound perfect but we have been in a long-distance relationship for those three years that we’ve been together. And boy it was hard to trust someone who is in a different place and time and maintain the communication. Communication is the most important tool in relationships but as the relationship grows older we both get tired of talking to each other everyday. I just hope that we have ended this than live into something that just pushes us to be faithful. We see each other twice a year, what is so great about that.
Given the chance to do things all over again and knowing that I would be experiencing these things and hardships I don’t think I would still choose to be with him. I’d rather have someone whom I will be able to fully trust and will be at my side most of the time. Someone who knows I need his presence more than his gifts. There are some things that I need and want that a long-distance relationship will not be able to provide. And I know he does too.
Conflicts in relationship cannot be avoided especially with our situation. Conflict is defined as a painful tension set up by a clash between opposing impulses (Webster’s Dictionary, 2002). Jealousy becomes an issue as conflicts start to arise. But anger is not something that I have experienced for the last three years. Trusting each other is the hardest thing to do knowing that there are so many people that he might meet and like while he is away. I will admit that sometimes even the smallest things become big deal to me. Yet at the end of day, we would talk things out and try to settle things and compromise on whatever fight we had. We are not allowed to end the day without ending the fight.
The more we don’t want to talk about things the more they become complicated so it is always better to be open to each other and remember that I am not the only one who willing to embrace the sacrifice for him. Relationships should always be two-way. It will not work if I will always think of myself and my problems. I always tell myself that this three-year relationship is not all about me but about us.
The New International Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus of the English Language.
International Encyclopedic Edition. Trident Press International. 2002.