Although it does not get the attention it needs, domestic violence affects more than 60% of all women, but is not limited to only women; men, children, gays and lesbian are also affected. It is usually directed at the most vulnerable person in the relationship, whether it is the child or a partner. Battering (domestic violence) is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through violence and other forms of abuse.
The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, isolation, etc. o coerce and control the other person. The violence may not happen often but it remains as a hidden and constant terrorizing factor. (Gilda Berger 4) In general the abuser and the victim have low-self esteem. The abuser is also usually immature, overly dependent, and insecure, believing that he or she is superior to his victim, and while in public the abuser is usually nice, sensitive, and passive. The victim usually believes lies about battering relationships, and falls into feminine or masculine stereotypes.
Brainwashing usually accompanies domestic violence. Domestic violence toward children is usually accepted because it is claimed to be an important part in child rearing. Many sources- paleontological findings and literature as different as that of the Bible and Cinderella- furnish evidence that of children being abused, abandoned, or even eaten. (Gilda Berger 25) In the 17th century, where a stubborn child law was created for Puritan fathers to have the permission to kill their children if they were unruly or disobedient.
Although this law does not stand in present times, parents now feel that their control over food, clothing, and housing gives them the right to hit or punish their children in an overly aggressive manner. When the children see this abusive lifestyle they tend to think that this is the appropriate was to express their feelings. Which leads to violence between sisters and brothers, the hostile and insecure teenager shows his or her anger by beating up his or her sister or brother. The child does not have to be physically harmed or the violence does not have to be pointed directly to the child for it to have a strong effect.
One-third of the children who witness battering of their mothers tend to have significant behavioral and emotional problems, including psychomatic disorders, stuttering, anxiety and fears, sleep disorders, and school problems. (www. telalink. net/ police/abuse/effects. htm) Boys who witness their father s abuse are more likely to inflict violence as adults. Sixty-three percent of yong men between the ages of 11 and 20 serving time in prison for homicide have killed their mother s abuser.
Girls who witness this violence may tolerate the abuse as adults, and feel that this is an appropriate way to show affection. Domestic violence also affects the children in their adult lives. A great portion of those who assault both strangers and loved ones are the product of violent household. Men are also affected by domestic violence, although they are not affected as much as women, the degree of the violence is equal. In fact, women are more likely to throw, kick, bite, or assault with an object other than a knife or gun.
The figures for abused women are the most often quoted, but the equal amount of male victims is simply ignored. If couples not currently living together were included, the figure would likely be higher. If you believe all the statistics and facts for women being beating then it may come as a surprise that almost the same amount of men are also. Both men and women experience an equal level of domestic violence abuse, but in the category of being assaulted the number of women has dropped, from two million to 1. 8 million, and the number of men assaulted has stayed at two million.
This means that a woman is severely assaulted every 18 seconds by her intimate, and a man is similarly assaulted every 15 seconds. Gays and lesbians seem to be the only group of people affected by domestic violence that society does not regard as true violence. As in relationships between straight couples, there is a cycle of behavior that includes periods of abuse, as well as periods of love which can lead to confusion about whether the abusive partner is really an abuser.
In a gay relationship, there are additional issues that must be faced: manipulation on the part of the buser who may threaten to “out his or her partner if he or she tries to get help or to flee. (www. domestic-violence. net/) Outing is a serious issue in a society that continues to deny gay citizens full rights, and acts as if gays aren t human. A gay person who is outed to their employers may lose their job, being outed to friends or family may cause the loss of relationships to people who have been important in their life. The fear of losing their children by court order can also keep an abused lesbian or gay in an unsafe relationship.
Some judges, who don t understand lesbian and gay relationships, refuse to grant protection orders to battered gays and lesbians, because once again it is not accepted as true violence. The most common group to experience domestic violence is women. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined! Domestic violence kills the same amount of women in five years, as the total of women killed in the Vietnam war. (http://wwwsccadvsa. rg/violence. htm)
Per year, four million women experience domestic violence, and four women are killed each day by their male partner. Battered women are more likely to have miscarriages and give birth to babies with birth defects, and low birth weights. Pregnant women make up 25% – 40% of the total injured by domestic violence. These women usually live isolated lives, and feel ashamed of themselves because of being degraded by their partners. As these victims try to leave their batterer they become at a greater risk of becoming battered.
In fact women become 75% more likely to be killed by their batterer than those who stay. Three-fourths of domestic assaults reported to law enforcement agencies were after separation, and one-fourth of the women killed by their male partners were separated or divorced. These victims also feel afraid to leave because of having no place to go. Domestic violence is the largest reason for homelessness in the United States. Fifty percent of all homeless women and children are on the streets because of domestic violence, There are 1,500 shelters for battered women in the United States, there are 3,800 animal shelters. www. famvi. com/dv-facts. htm)
Financial dependence is also a reason for victims to stay with their abuser. Women also fear losing custody of their children if they leave their abuser, eighty five percent of battered women who leave lose custody to their abusive men. help. For these reason most victims stay with their abusers and live lives of fear, shame, and low self esteem. Also, an extreme sense of guilt, shame, and embarrassment makes the victim of family violence reluctant to seek In the past domestic violence was accepted.
Although I don t have proof of women being physically abused, we all know that they were neglected of many rights. From not being allowed to attend school to not being allowed to vote. The present teen relationships show domestic violence daily. At schools boys restrict their girlfriends from associating with their friends by grabbing them away, while girls scratch and slap their boyfriends for looking at other girls. I predict in the future that society will realize that domestic violence is a very serious issue and will deal with it in the appropriate manner.