Everyone should hit their child whenthey discipline. Right? Well, it is illegal for a parent, teacher or anyone tohit a child in 47 countries and a prohibited punishment in school in 124countries. Yet all around the world, people think a punishment is necessary aslong as it’s not severe and, unfortunately, even encouraged. Hitting your children makes themthink it’s right and OK. Parents are physically bigger and stronger thanchildren. They are smarter because their brain and body are fully developedunlike a child’s. When a parent tries to hit their own child to make thembehave better, the parent is basically telling them that hitting someone who isweaker or smaller than you is an acceptable way to get them to do anything.
Could this be why children bully smaller children or grow up to abuse theirwives? Sometimes adults get frustratedeasily or get stressed from work, family, relationships etc. so hitting yourchild who has been getting on your nerves, will get you to experience immenserelief, which drives you to hit more or harder. Punishment will always turn toabuse. Once you begin to punish your child lightly, where do you stop? For anexample, your child reaches your valuable things, you tap his hand so he canstop touching it, he reaches again and this time you spank his hand lightly, hereaches it again and you hit harder.
You’ve now started a cycle to always hityour child harder, the issues then are about who’s stronger, your child’s willto touch it or your punishment not your valuable stuff anymore. The danger ofpunishment is when a child disobeys, you may feel like you have to hit harderuntil he’s so sore he can’t disobey anymore. Your hand becomes a fist, yourfolded newspaper becomes a belt, now what once was just an innocent tap becomeschild abuse. Hitting your child distracts thechild from learning to resolve the conflict in a proper way because they getoverwhelmed with feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge, losing theopportunity to learn how to resolve it making a punished child difficult tohandle similar situations or prevent similar situations in the future. Eventhough children don’t think properly like adults, they can still senseunfairness in this word. Punishing your child will create a very angry child,therefore, making them rebel and feel humiliated.
Abuse interferes with the bondbetween parents and children as we cannot feel love towards someone who hurtus. It only gives you good behaviour from fear but not love or care. If yourchild grew up in a very loving caring home but got spanked once or twice, yourchild won’t remember any specific happy scenes in vivid detail, unlike thespanking scenes. It’s fascinating how one negative memory can block out so manypositive memories. Punishing your child affects you too! Once a mother quotes,after spanking her child, “I won the battle. But lost the war” This suggeststhat she got her child to do whatever she wants however her child now fearsher; she now lost her child.