As If I don’t marry County Paris, then

As I sit here upon my bed I feel terribly afraid of what I am about to do. Our life has changed very rapidly in these five days. These five days have been my most beautiful days of my whole life, and also the worst and the most fearful. Five days ago I was just a young girl who was about to be married with someone and you came n my life and changed everything. Suddenly you were the only one who was all over my mind, and now I am not even sure whether we will meet again or not. I am not sure whether this potion will work or not.

If it doesn’t, then will I have to marry County Paris tomorrow? If I have to marry him then I won’t live. I will rip my heart of with this dagger I have in my hand. But if it does then I would be able to meet my handsome and loving Romeo again. Oh Romeo! Oh Romeo! I shouldn’t kill myself. God joined my heart and Romeo’s and if I am to be with him again I must be brave and hopeful. But Friar may be trying to kill me by giving me this poison and telling me that it is a sleeping potion. Even if he is not trying to kill me, then can I trust this untested potion?

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But methinks that he is still a holy man, he wouldn’t do that. I am not sure about anything. Oh Romeo! Why did you have to leave me? Why? You are the only one who cares about me, who knows my problems, then why did you leave me? My parents want me to marry County Paris. I can’t marry him. I am already married to my sweet Romeo. All they care about is their reputation and nothing else. If I don’t marry County Paris, then my father says he will throw me out of the house and would never like to see my face again even if I die.

And now also my nurse doesn’t care about me anymore. She was the one who got us married and now she says that I should marry County Paris. This is very unfair. Why did you have to be my enemy and if you are then why u did have to be so handsome and charming. If you didn’t come in my life, we both would have been happy, happy enough not to suffer all this problems. Methinks that it is best to run away because after we do then my family and Romeo’s will not fight again. It is in good for me to run away. This feud is the only thing stopping me and Romeo to meet again.

Why does this have to happen in our family? Oh Romeo. And all because of this I have to take this potion now. The potion that will make me and Romeo live together gain. I hope that friar has sent the letter to Romeo about this, but if he fails then I will never be able to meet Romeo again. It will be a happy time when I open my eyes and the first sight would be my Romeo, which would be such a pleasant sight. I can’t wait for my Romeo to take me and then live happily together again and have some kids. But would I be like my mother?

Would I have children at a very young age? I can’t decide what to do. Would I be giving my children to a nurse who takes care of them and be free of the tension? I don’t think I should do that because my mother did that look at me now. I can’t even talk to them as they are my parents. Sometimes methinks they are my bosses not my parents. I would never make the same mistake that my mother did. Last time when you were with me in the balcony, I thought that you looked like you were in the grave but now I am really going to be in a grave.

I still can’t get rid of the thoughts that something is bound to go wrong. I can’t get rid of the thoughts that my most beloved cousin is going to be next to me when I wake up tomorrow night. How will it feel? It feels like my cousin’s ghost would be looking for Romeo and he is in deep trouble but I will not let this happen. I will wake up and stop them to do anything and so I can live with my Romeo in peace. I don’t think I will be able to do this but for Romeo I will have to do it. Here is the potion and this s to you my Romeo, to you. I hope to see you soon.