Personal Reflection Essay

This contemplation will discourse personal self-doubt and how it has influenced my academic surveies. including my pattern within placement scenes. Gibbs brooding rhythm ( Gibbs. 1998 ) has been utilised as it illustrates a clear construction for the procedure of contemplation. To reason this contemplation will pull together the subjects which have emerged and highlight a clear action for future acquisition that will be used in order to heighten my hereafter pattern.

Within my old business as a wellness attention helper I was capable to workplace bulling which was allowed to go on for an extended period of clip due to uneffective direction of the state of affairs. Vartia ( 2001. p. 68 ) suggests that one of the effects for the marks of workplace bulling is a feeling of low ego assurance. This is so true of myself ; although this occurred anterior to beginning of university. I perceive that I am diffident stemming from this experience.

This self-doubt has influenced my academic surveies and my pattern upon arrangement. Feelingss: I feel that I find it disputing to settle down within new groups of people. Whilst on arrangement I feel it takes a important sum of clip to work within my fullest capacity within the squad. Spouse ( 2008. p. 21 ) province that come ining a new placement country can be a intimidating experience ; proposing this may be because you are fall ining a squad of aliens who already know each other.

However I feel that my old experience has heightened my apprehensiveness and so Bach and Grant ( 2009 ) suggest past experience contributes to our attitudes and values and affects what we notice about other peoples behaviors and how we interpret it. Therefore I may accidentally be argus-eyed for behavior that represents past experience. I feel I become affectional when struggle arises both upon arrangement and within the university environment ; hence I have a inclination to avoid beginnings of struggle.

Furthermore ; although I am cognizant of the demand to dispute hapless pattern witnessed and have done so within the yesteryear ; it is something that I find peculiarly ambitious and uncomfortable to cover with. I find it uncomfortable to dispute people because I perceive this as a negative beginning of struggle. I am slightly afraid of the reactions this may arouse and the impact this could hold on my working relationships within the squad I am placed.

Within my academic surveies in the university larning environment specifically ; this self-doubt has manifested as an apprehensiveness of talking within groups. This is particularly evident when it is required to execute group presentations. Although my one to one communicating and communicating within familiar groups is of good quality. communicating within unfamiliar groups can be hindered by this self-doubt. I am concerned that if allowed to go on ; self-doubt could be damaging to my future pattern as a nurse.

Hagbaghery et ( 2004 ) qualitative research findings suggest that nurses perceive competency and ego assurance as the most of import personal factors act uponing nurses clinical determination devising. hence in order to heighten my hereafter pattern I feel that it is imperative that I overcome this. Evaluation: Upon rating of these feelings I perceive I have progressed and gained assurance therefore far. nevertheless there is still margin for betterment. I feel that upon a recent eight hebdomad arrangement period whereby I moved across four arrangement scenes ; I had an copiousness of pattern within accommodating and take parting within new squads.

Although I felt that passage across four scenes slightly hindered myself working to my fullest capacity ; the positive facet of this was that it facilitated addition in self assurance. Nash. Lemcke and Sacre ( 2008 ) suggest that ab initio when meeting a new workplace civilization seeking to be accepted within this new civilization can be uncomforting and lead to feelings of insufficiency ; nevertheless by the terminal of this eight hebdomad period I feel I gained a important sum of ego assurance and I felt confident with my ability to incorporate into new squads efficaciously.

Communication is the interaction with people and is at the nucleus of nursing harmonizing to McCabe and Timmins ( 2006. p. 4 ) . therefore I acknowledge that in order to work to my fullest capacity within the nursing profession it is imperative I overcome this apprehensiveness of talking within groups and executing presentations. I have reflected upon old experiences within university ; contrasting executing our first group presentation to a recent group presentation experience. I perceive a huge betterment nevertheless once more there is still margin for betterment and addition in assurance.

Brankenbridge and Blows ( 2008. p. 216 ) have highlighted that there are different ways in which you can dispute. constructive and destructive. Constructive challenges highlight options and leave the individual with something of which they can reflect upon. construct upon and alteration. Destructive challenges are delivered in an unskilful manner go forthing the individual who has been challenged feeling put down and bad and potentially could be a beginning of struggle and negative feeling.

This is why in the yesteryear I have perceived ambitious people in pattern as a negative action. perchance due to missing distinction between destructive and constructive unfavorable judgment. Analysis: Although I perceive myself as diffident upon analysis I am incognizant of how others may comprehend my ego. Harmonizing to Barber. McLaughlin and Wood ( 2009. p. 76 ) The Johari Window ; Luft and Ingham ( 1955 ) can demo us facets of ourselves that we believe is how others perceive us. nevertheless they further suggest that these facets may merely be a little portion of our ‘personality’ as a whole and non needfully how others perceive ourselves.

Which means although I perceive myself as diffident ; others may non needfully comprehend my ego in this mode and it is basically necessary that I develop farther ego consciousness. Barber. McLaughlin and Wood ( 2009. p. 76 ) perceive development of ego consciousness as important in foregrounding how we view and respond to others and in bend how they view and respond to us. The National Health Service ( NHS ) Modernisation Agency Leadership Centre ( 2005 ) have corroborated this position by proposing self consciousness can help with understanding 1s ain emotions and the impact of one’s behaviors on others.

Therefore one of the many benefits of ego consciousness for myself may be understanding my co-workers. larning to loosen up. placing my strengths and failings and indentifying my ain acquisition demands. Burnard ( 1997 ) . I perceive assertiveness of which Siviter ( 2008. p. 116 ) defines as esteeming the rights and feelings of others whilst standing up for yourself and your ain rights as a necessary accomplishment which will further ease a addition in self assurance. In order to be self-asserting it is necessary to possess the ability to show your feelings in a direct. unfastened. honest and appropriate mode.

Breckenbridge and Blows ( 2008. p. 217 ) farther suggest that self-asserting communicating is the key to successful relationships for patients. household. nurses and co-workers likewise ; hence further development of my self-asserting communicating accomplishments will heighten my hereafter pattern and communicating with staff. household and patients likewise. Development of self-asserting communicating accomplishments may help when and if the demand arises in future pattern to dispute colleague’s actions or the actions of people in general.

Indeed Breckenridge and Blows ( 2008. p. 17 ) suggest assertiveness is a cardinal characteristic within effectual challenging and therefore is an indispensable accomplishment of which is required to be developed. Assertiveness aids conveyance of of import messages and helps persons stand up for the rights of themselves and others ; one illustration of such being protagonism. Advocacy is reflected within The codification in full ( Nursing and Midwifery Council. 2008 ) who province that nurses must move as an advocator for those within their attention. Therefore larning to be self-asserting is non a pick. it is a must if I am to populate up to what is expected of me within my function as a pupil and future nurse.

Decision and Action Plan: The challenge for the hereafter is that I wholly overcome this self-doubt. I envisage being able to accomplish by developing self consciousness. I could develop self awareness by utilizing a tool such as The Johari Window. Academically the challenge is to get the better of apprehensiveness sing communicating with unfamiliar groups of co-workers. I anticipate accomplishing this by taking more clip to see what I am traveling to before I begin and being prepared for state of affairss where I am required to talk. With respect to executing presentations I will be prepared and practise what I am traveling to state in progress.