The place is in Hulu Langat. We were welcomed by Umi who is the wife of the principal of PERKID. PERKID is a nonprofit organization and has been existed for 10 years. PERKID is a member of Welfare and Social Development Council of Selangor, the Selangor state government body that acts as a coordinator and consultant for voluntary welfare organizations at the state level. There are 35 females and 34 male occupants in PERKID. Most of them are teenagers from the age of 13 to 25. Umi said that PERKID only handles hardcore cases such as alchoholic, drug addict, lesbian and robbery.
Most of them are brought here with the help of their parents. In PERKID, they are treated by Islamic method. They will be placed inside a small room which is called as detox room. They have to behave and repent for their sins to get out of the room. They Will be taught about fardh ain so that they can gain their faith again. They are totally immersed in Islamic way of life to regain their self-conscious. We were given 4 female students as our respondents. They are Fatih, Akmal, Soleha and Ayu. Each of them has very interesting and different stories.
Fatih was a drug addict, Akmal was an alcoholic, Soleha was a lesbian and Ayu had a pregnancy out of wedlock. They are not allowed us to conduct a video nterview so we only have their voices recording as our references. We were glad because all of them gave the best cooperation to us. After for about 4 hours interviewing them, we went back to 1113M. OBJECTIVES OF THE STUDY Our purpose Of conducting this interview is to see and apply the theory about moral development that we have learnt throughout this semester to the social ills that currently happening now.
Besides that we also would like to see the result of consequences of the deprivation of certain element in the theory of moral development that scholars has proposed. First respondent: Fatih, 16 years old Fatih is the first respondent to be interviewed on that day. She looks just like any other normal girl, talkative and a cheerful girl. She greets us with a warm hug and starts to tell us the story of her life. She has 5 siblings and she is the first child. Her parents have their own business. She has been staying there for about 1 year and 7 months.
So, we can say that she comes from a loaded family. She is an aggressive girl only when she got angry over something. She said that she could not control her anger and she even nearly to kill her own mother because of her temper. She starts to smoke at the age of 10 years old nd consumes varieties of drugs at the age of 12. She has the freedom and money, the two things that she really loves. Then, she starts to have sex with many different boys. She is so lucky because she did not get pregnant. She also tells us that she always get beaten by her parents.
Her parents do not even give her any chance of explanation whenever she commits something wrong. The most shocking part is when she tells us that if she fails to get an ‘A’ for a subject, she will get beaten too. Her parents never allow her to give any excuses to defend herself. She hates her parents because they always use harsh ways to teach her a lesson. Fatih is not just consumes the drug but also she was the one who supplied the drugs around her neighbourhood. She becomes the drug dealer she wants to have her own money although her parents already gave her a lot of money.
Fatih was sent to Perkid when she was high due to drugs and she was aggressively fought back to escape from that place. Because of her aggressiveness, she was placed into the detox room so that she would learn how to control her temper. Fatih’s story of her life is actually something common in our society nowadays. Fatih’s problem is clearly started at home where her parents use harsh way to teach her a esson by hitting their children. Her parents also are too busy to pay attention to her. She is the first child so she does not have anybody to talk to.
That is the reason why she finds someone else to entertain her. Too much freedom she gets at a very young age makes her chooses the wrong path. Her situation becomes worst when she mingles with the wrong people and becomes a drug addicts. Again, her parents use a harsh way to make her stop acting that way. Being beaten almost every day makes her lost her mind and she nearly kills her mother. This shows that parents should not hit their hildren as a way to educate them the moral values because they will hold grudge and might be worst like the trial to kill her own mother.
Like what Ibnu Khaldun promotes that parents should not hit their children more than three times. This is absolutely true in Fatih’s case. She admits that she hates her parents when they keep beaten up her without considering her excuses. Fatih’s parents that like to hit her forces Fatih to lie and acts aggressively. That is the reason why Ibnu Khaldun discourages parents to hit their children as a way to educate them. Parents also should be friend with their children so hat they will know their children better than others.
However, in Fatih’s case, her parents were too busy working hard to earn money for their family. This is the main reason why Fatih has a wild lifestyle. She has the freedom and money, which are the two most powerful things that could destroy any relationships. These two things also almost totally destroy Fatih’s life. Sayyidina Umar states that parents should play with their children till they are at the age of 7, teach them how to discipline them for 7 years and be friend with them for 7 years. So, if Fatih’s parents practiced this method to educate he children, Fatih may not be the same as now.
Second respondent: Sole, 20 years old The second respondent of our study is Sole, 20 years old female. She comes from Negeri Sembilan and she enrolled to PERKID since March so she has been there for almost 9 month. She started to involve in this lesbian things since Form 4 when one of her friends is acting weird towards her as she teach her all the ridiculous thing such as kissing, holding hands, sleeping together and so on until all her hostel friends begin to question them either they are lesbian or what. Sole started to ask that girl is it true that they are like what eople said but the lesbian denied it. an say that Sole is actually confused with her action but because of she thought that it was nothing and it is just a normal thing done between girls then she just go on with it. One of the actions done by them is when they were sleeping together that lesbian asks her whether she has ever had a kiss or not and then Sole answered yes but only on the cheek then the lesbian immediately kissed her on her mouth she was startled at that moment but she just go with the flow. After Sole finish her high school she got selected to PLKN and she met a lesbian there and the esbian loves to sleep, seat and doing any activities together with her.
This is when Sole started to ask herself is she actually like woman because she mentioned that she did feels comfortable with the way of the lesbian treats her. During PLKN the terms contract couple stuffs are very famous so Sole actually in a relationship with a guy but when that guy call her “sayang”, “baby” and so on she started to feel gross and disgusting until she told that guy about her feelings and then the guy said that it is fine with him maybe he is not the type of person that can change her.
As mentioning about Sole’s amily they are actually suspicious since she was in Form 4 because she is being friend with a girl who join Silat so that girl is like rough and harsh like the attitude of a man but Sole said that they were just a friends until she enter college and make a relationship with a lesbian after a year only her parents know that she is actually into lesbian because of the lesbian only wants her money she got the allowance from MARA and on her first semester she got around RM 4000 and the lesbian borrowed up to RM 900 from her so when she was about to start the new semester she does not have enough oney to pay for the hostel’s fee and she asks for money from her mother and when her mother began to question where all the money has gone she tells the truth until her family knows about her relationship with that particular lesbian. She was sent to PERKID by her father because her father went to her college and found out that she did not went to class for one month. Factors and theory related The major factors of Sole’s problem are due to the peer influences and by her own desires as her families does not brings any harms or bad effects to her development. She stated that this is not because of her parents but indeed it s from her own desires.
She had a relationship with a boy before when she was in Form 1 but it only lasts for 2 months and she said that she did not have any past experiences with man which is not good that makes her likes a girl but when she was in Form 4 her friend who is actually a lesbian teach her to do something which is not appropriate and to the extreme level from the cultural norms such as mouth kissing and Sole began to feel comfortable about it when she was 18 years old and started to find a lesbian as her ‘boyfriend’. Sole actually does not know whether their actions are permissible r not she actually had a problem in finding her identity which can be related to fifth Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development which is Identity vs. Role Confusion as Sole are actually at the adolescent period as she was only 16 years old during the time when her friends approach her that way. The teen years are indeed a time of identity crisis, or in Erikson’s terms “a turning point of increased vulnerability and heightened potential”.
Sole can be described as having the expressions of identity confusion as she doubts about sex role identity as according to Erikson’s theory of this stages adolescent has to find heir own identity while negotiating and struggling with social interactions and “fitting in” to develop a sense of morality of which one is right and which one is wrong from the concept of role-model as for Sole she imitate the actions done by her friends. Although as time passed by she knew that her action is wrong but she just keep doing it because of the thought that it is acceptable as long as no one knows about it because of she has been involved with it since Form 4 and at this stages adolescents tend to listen more to their peers as compared to their family. This explains the negative ole identity which is referring to rebellious denial of the expectations of parents or society. Sole did mentioned that it really takes time for her to forget his lesbian partner but she hopes that within 2 years at PERKID she can actually reflects herself back and be a better person.
Third respondent : Akmal 1 7 years old Background Akmal is a seventeen year old girl who from Banting, Selangor. She has been in the Rumah Kebajikan Darul Islah (PERKID) for about one ear and half until now. She has been admitted in the PERKID because of several social illnesses such as consuming liquor, fornification and her family decided to send her to his place when they are convinced that there is nothing that they could have done to bring Akmal back to the right path. Akmal only lives with her mother ever since her father passed away at four years old. She is the only child in the family. Her mother was married to her father at a very young age of 18. Akmal was born when her mother was 19 years old.
According to Akmal, her parents’ intention to tie the knot was at the beginning rejected by both their parents but however the two were married eventually. Her mother remarried for two times after Akmal’s biological father passed away. her first stepfather also passed away. When asked about how her second stepfather is like, she said that he is such a matured, caring and firm person. Never once did he abandon Akmal and neglect her even though Akmal was only a stepdaughter to him. Akmal said her mother deserved fortunate to have him as a husband after all the hardship and suffering that she had put her mother in. Akmal started to involve in the sexual intercourse and smoking when she was in standard 5.
According to Akmal she had very little time to spend with her mother at home because of her mother utter commitment to work and her habit of spending most of the time with her friends outside rather than at ome. However, her mother always spoiled her with moneys and she said that most of the time she asks for money, her mother will definitely get them. The amount of money that she received from her mother is ridiculously a lot. She could easily make up soe excuses and ask for RM500. The next morning, her mother had already left the money on the table. Akmal admitted to have spent most of her money on her friends. Her friends seemed to enjoy this beneficial relationship they were having with Akmal. She was like their benefactor and Akmal, being a very loyal and cool friend would never say no to her friends.
When she was 13 years old she used o flee away from home together with her friends to Seremban and got caught by the police afterwards when her mother lodged a police report. After the flee accident, her mother decided to let Akmal’s uncle who is known for his firm personality took her back to his home where her mother had hoped Akmal would change her behavior. For two years Akmal stayed with her uncle, finally her mother had come to take her back to live in Kuala umpur. Akmal said at that time she was a changed person and already wore a scarf. But after she moved back to Kuala Lumpur and met with her old friend, Akmal started to become like the old her.
She gradually started to stop wearing her scarf and started to smoke again. She befriended with her Old friend and began to go out at night and involve with immoral activities. During this particular time, Akmal started to learn to drink liquor. Her friends introduced her with vodka at the beginning. And later she started to get used to drinking alcohol without her mother’s knowledge. When she was 15 years old, she was involved in a horrible accident that almost claimed her life. It is because she was drinking alcohol the night before and she was feeling a little high and dizzy the next morning. She was in coma for two days. But that accident seemed fail to serve a lesson to her as she had not change her behavior.
Everything in Akmal’s life was about to change when her mother caught her drinking liquor in her room and she was immediately sent to PER KID. Akmal regretted everything that she had done to her mother. She could not wait to be out of PERKID because she wanted to help her mother in anyway that she could. She said that she hopes to open a pastry business in a few years because she loves to bake. She expressed how she loved the fact that she able to feel a part of the big family in PERKID. This was something hat she had not been able to experience when she lived with her mother before. Factor and theory related One of the apparent factors that we can identify from Akmal story is the lack Of communication with her mother.
Akmal herself stated that it is almost difficult for them to have a quality time together because her mother is always busy at work and she would often spend time with her friends. To make the situation got worse, Akmal only lives with her mother and I believe the absence of a father figure cause Akmal to feel like she has not get enough attention. Referring to Maslows Hierarchy of Needs, there are 4 stages of needs that eople need. Nevertheless, in order for them to achieve the higher level of need which is self-actualization, they need to fulfill the lowest level of in the hierarchy which is physiological need, safety need, belongings need, self- esteem need and lastly the higher level which is self-actualization. elieve Akmal belongings need is not properly met and fulfill thus causing her to not be able to proceed to another level which is self-esteem. Having a sense of belongings is very much salient because it means you are able to establish a decent social context with friends, intimate relationship and family. After listening to Akmal story, I believe the lack of attention and interaction with her mother has creating such gap between Akmal and her mother hence deprived Akmal of family attachment. For a growing teenagers, family is very much an important agent in making sure that they growing up to be a well- rounded person in terms of intellectually, emotionally and psychologically.
Maslow believes that the sense of belonging and attachment to the family IS precursor to the development of self-esteem of an individual. Family helps a person to find their purpose in life and teach them to live their life by their wn principles and not by others. Fourth respondent: Ayu 22 years old Ayu, 22 years old, for the first time, she makes the biggest mistake in her life because of love, she became blind. She forgot all the things that she have learnt in school, leave all the things behind when she started to know what is ‘freedom’ is. The knowledge and all religion knowledge that she had before, she forgot. She got good education, she has good manner during school and she has no problems with social ill.
Her life begins to turn black after completed her school. Ayu who lived in Kedah lives with her parents and her ix siblings and she is the fourth. After SPM examination, she did not further her study. She works part time as waitress and there she starts to expose with freedom and at the same time she start to know what is that mean by love. Love that makes she feel that everything happened is seem so right. When she starts to know him, she always accompanied him every”here he goes. From that time, she became very social person who are before not even know going out and back home late. But, her parents know their relationship because they are neighbours.
One day, her boyfriend’s mother told to her mother that his son was taking drug. Since that, her parents rejected their relationship and they decided to flee from home and they migrated to Kuala Lumpur. They went away for almost six month but before they attempt many times fled away. During that time, she was 20 years old and she stays with her boyfriend in Klang. Even though, she knew that he is drug addict her love to him is still same. Her boyfriend treated her so well and never abuses her. Both of them are working in Kuala Lumpur. Within six month, they lived together they stray far. She was found pregnant, she told her boyfriend and he wants to take responsibilities of his manner.
They decided to back to their hometown and try to ask their parents to get married. But, what had happened is beyond it. Their family still not giving blessed. Both sides family decide not give them to marry each other because they have another plan. Her boyfriend’s family decided to put her in Pondok School in Kedah to recover him from drug addiction as they return to Kedah. For Ayu, her parents put her in Persatuan Kebajikan Darul Islam (PERKID) in Kuala Langat, Selangor. At that time, she was pregnant about seven months and she gives birth in Hospital Ampang. She got a baby boy and the baby was given to dopted family. The rules are that when the baby was given to adopted family, the baby cannot know who his mother is.
Everything is in secret and depend to the adopter parents whether to tell or not who is the biological mother. The relationship with her boyfriend last about two years and lead them to the black dot of their life. She has been stayed in PERKID about 1 year and 8 months and will be out around February next year. When we asked about whether is there any family members came and visit her, she said that his aunt always visit her but their parents rarely did because they are far way. We also asked about the acceptance of her siblings and parents. They accept it and take it as lesson. They want her to repent to Allah and not commit the same mistake. Then, we also asked her about her plans when she will charge out next year.
She said, she will not getting back to her boyfriend and want to start a new life. Meaning that, she wants to help her family and focus on them since she had done so many things that improper and embarrassed their family. Lastly, from the whole Ayu’s interview session, we learnt so many things as we are also an adult who always commits mistakes very day without realise it. From this sharing moment with this respondent, there is no doubt that actually nafs control the person. If we are misled or astray from the right path, we arrived to the wrong destination. Factors and theories related There are many factors that lead to the teenage early pregnancy. One of the factors is lack of parental guidance.
Parents need to be role model to their children. They become example of good attitude, manner and behaviour. They are social agent to their children. In Ayu’s case, we can see the way of her parents educate her by giving fully freedom give bad affect. This is also occurred when they are not with their children and give some explanation -Most parents evade their children from talking about sex. In some cases, they provide false information regarding sex and discourage their children to participate in any informative discussion about sex. This should be told by parents to their children to make them understand which one is true and what is beyond.
Parents tend to look down of this kind of matter and let them get involve with the social problems. Besides, teenager tends to have feelings of discover new things to fulfil their desire. For them, this is something fun and cool. They cannot control their behaviour because of the nafs that control them. They never think about the effects and causes after the misled behaviour. For example, Ayu got pregnant after fled away from home. She had nothing to do about the effects, how her family feel and society around them. The other factors are socio economic factors. We found that socio economy become the main reason in Ayu’s problem. Usually, teenage girls who belong to the poor families are more likely to become pregnant.
Researchers have found that even in the developed countries eenage pregnancy occurs most commonly among the deprived sections. Based on the Erik Erikson’s stages, the adolescence, 12-18 years old need social relationship. Teens need to develop a sense of self and personal identity. Success leads to an ability to stay true to their own self, while failure leads to role confusion and a weak sense of self. In this case, it continues to the misled behaviour at the early adulthood which is young adulthood (19 to 40 years), intimacy vs isolation tend to take relationship as the main value. Young adults need to form intimate and loving relationships with other eople. Success leads to strong relationships, while failure results in loneliness and isolation.
Ayu defend her boyfriend and follow her to migrate in KL and she left her family willingly until she got pregnant. We can relate the Erik Erikson’s stages to this respondent because she really loves her boyfriend. When we look how she defends her boyfriend who is drug addict, it proves that she scared of being isolated and when she saw other friend have couple, she wants to have one and the feeling of intimacy in the early adulthood bring her to the uncontrolled situation and she wills that her elationship with him is forever and she scared of living alone. ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVES Parents are responsible to educate and look after their children well-being.
Islam has highlighted several guidelines for parents to follow in educating children. Imam A1-Ghazali said in lhya IJlum al-Deen should not be overexposed with the wordly materials as they will tend to indulge in it and probably misuse the material to fulfill their desire. However, it does not mean that parents should deprive their children of the needs as Imam A1-Bukhari has said that “It is better to leave your heirs well-off than to leave them poor, egging’. Parents have to monitor their children behavior and activity and do not leave their children unattended because it is feared that they will be influenced with negative elements and mix up with immoral behavior.
Parents are the first role models of their children; whether the child finds a good role model or a dysfunctional one, depend on the behavior of respective parents. Parents will have to practice what they preach-if at all they believe in the importance of developing righteous character for their children. Tarbiah in Islam primarily means to let our children know their Creator, inculcate love or The prophet (SAW), faith in hereafter, divine books, angels, prophets, qadr and other important aspects of our Deen (way of life). “Every new born is born upon Fitrah (pure nature), it is their parents who make them Jews, Christians or fire worshippers. it is crystal clear that children is the parents responsibilities that must be carried out decently because these children is the next generation of our religion and ummah that we will live behind and we hope that they will become a responsible person who will benefit others. REFLECTIONS Based on the interview with the entire respondent, it is important to for arents and teachers to take their responsibility seriously. We also have come to realize that the duty as a teacher is not stopped at imparting knowledge for academic purpose, but most importantly to shape and build a well-rounded individual who knows his or her duty towards the creator, society and other people.
Apart from that, we also have come to realize that parents play an important role in shaping the behavior of the children. Parents act as a role model because they are the closest member with the children and have been with the children ever since the child was born. Being firm with children is ecessary but it must be with moderation and with love. We do not want to ignite fear in the children because it will affect them later. Hitting the children must be the last option and not the main option. Some parents do not understand and get the reason when and at what context children must be hit and the children are the one who has to pay the price for the ignorance of their parents.
In addition, after having listening to all the respondents story, we know and understand that as a future teacher, we must be prepare to confront with all these sort of situation and make the right choices in dealing with the students. We believe that the reason that they acting out is to get attention and concern from the parents and teachers. Thus as future teachers and parents it is crucial for us to notice this entire signal so we will not overlook the children’s problem.