Whether it is at school, work, home, or any other place, I maintain relationships everywhere I go. There are many different types of relationships I have with separate individuals. I have relationships with friends, my boss, my girlfriend, my parents, and with God, but all of those relationships are different. Relationships can be close, distance, personal or impersonal. When analyzing my relationships there are many different elements that factor in.
Some of those factors that are involved, such as similar interests, reliability of the relationship, time spent with one another, types of activities we both participate in and the level of intimacy. Through my relationships, I have continued in my personal growth and development. I have been so fortunate for the relationship I have with a very remarkable woman who has influenced me more so than any other relationship in my personal growth. She has helped me gain a direction for my life and helped me shape my future.
At first, I did not see her everyday, but she still guided my actions, and shape my behavior. I met her through a mutual friend and we just began talking. We started to realize that we had so much in common and we began to gain interest in one another. One problem, we lived thousands of miles apart. Illinois to Virginia was a long way. We have never met in person, only through the Internet and video chat. There were no rules or commitment, as we were just friends. We would joke about how we could make the perfect couple but never thought it was possible because of the distance between us.
But there was an invisible pull that we could no longer ignore. After realizing we couldn’t deny these feelings any longer, she decided to come to Chicago so we could finally meet in person. After the long drive, she was finally there. I have talked to her almost non-stop for the last 2 months and even gained feelings for her but finally seeing Kelsi in person for the first time was a whole new experience. We hugged for the first time and then we hugged for a second time immediately after, realizing that yes it is real.
We discussed over the possibility of actually trying out long distance. We decided to follow through with our feelings that we have built up and make it official. We attempted at long distance for 8 months. We were able to maintain a great relationship, through strong communication and lots of trust in one another. When we would get opportunities to see on another, it was always perfect and we were so happy to spend time with one another. She influenced my thinking everyday, I was far away but I lived with her.
We took advantage of every opportunity that we got to text, talk, or video chat with each another. This relationship was my fate, and I was ready to discover more about it. So after 8 months of dating, I moved to VA to be with her. We couldn’t be happier or more grateful for the time we get to spend together now. Having a “normal” relationship in person is much better than spending a week at a time together with months in-between. It is interesting to analyze Kelsi and I’s relationship because it hasn’t always been the typical relationship.
Through our experiences with long distance, we learned to become great communicators and to appreciate the small things that some couples take for granite. Communication has been the biggest part of our relationship, communication through words, and through honesty. Our communication wasn’t as simple as an exchange of messages but it was actually a symbolic process of sharing meaning. The attachment theory, which is described as psychological state and tendency of someone to search for and want close association, can be closely compared to my relationship with my girlfriend.
Even though we maintained a strong relationship while being long distance, I felt absent-minded when she wasn’t close enough through personal touch but when we visited each other, I felt fulfilled. I especially felt these feelings the more our relationship developed and as we continued to fall even more in love. We would count down the days till the next time we would be able to see each other. I would anticipate and gain a strong emotion building up to the days, as they grew closer. When I finally moved to VA to be with her, we realized how ridiculous it was to wish away days.
It felt like eternity between times we got to see each other but once we were finally together, time couldn’t of gone by any faster. The more our relationship went on, the more theories I could relate to our romantic experience. During the long distance part of our relationship, the social exchange theory became the foundation of our communication. The social exchange theory is sort of like the give and take ratio. Through phone calls, and video chat dates we were making time to connect with each other. Through the exchange of thoughts, time and some sense of material items is also what helped keep the relationship alive.