Understanding Human Relationships: Love & Sexuality SPEECH ON TEENAGE SEXUALITY ISSUES For teens, the mere thought of sex can be overwhelming. I know, I have been a teenager before. However, there is so much to think about, so much to worry about, and so much that can go wrong. Whether you are sexually active or not, knowing the facts about what sex is, and what it is not, is very important. And I am here to feed you with some knowledge about “What is SEX all about? ” please, bear with me till then.
So now what is sex? What do we know about sex? Parents might say it’s about our bodies or our hormones, about our feelings and our relationships, or about touching and being touched. Some might think it’s about doing or engaging in one kind of sex or any kind of sex, or about wanting, seeking out or experiencing certain kinds of pleasure. Others might say it’s about parts of our identity, like our gender identity or sexual orientation. Biology teachers might say it’s about reproduction: about making babies (or not).
You might say it’s about our desires to be close to — or far away from — other people in ways we define or experience as sexual, or about feeling horny, lusty, tingly, mingly, hungry, itchy, twitchy or whatever words you use to express a strong feeling of “I want to have sex NOW. ” If any one of those things were your answers, you’re right. If all or most of those things were your answers, you’re even more right. But allow me to rephrase all these in a more appropriate way so that you would get a better insight of SEX.
Sex involves physical and emotional touch. It is risky; as you can get pregnant – for females, worse a sexually transmitted infection, on top of all these, you can get your heart broken or your ego bruised, or might even feel let down and disappointed when it is over. Sex; it is a milestone; you only get one chance to lose your virginity. So think before doing it girls. It is sensitive; be sure that the timing is right for you and your partner. Do not rush into it. You have plenty of years ahead of you, so take your time.
Sex is not to be taken lightly or treated as recreation. Having sex is not the same as swimming or singing! Sex is best when it is a personal expression of caring between two people. That is why it is often called as “Making love”. Now let’s see what NOT sex is! Firstly, sex is not a way to make somebody love you or make a commitment to you. It should be a two way traffic; you should not force it onto the other party. Secondly, sex is definitely not a test of your love for your partner. This is a popular reason on why teenagers these days have sex.
Dear teens please do not threaten your lover like this because there are so many more other ways to show your love. Bear in mind that every action has it consequences and the consequences of having sex in your early years is not going to be easy for you to handle. As I say this, I also would like to include that sex is not a measure of how mature or grown up you are. There is always a age and time for all these. No matter how matured you may be at the age of 16 – 19, you are not mentally or financially ready to bear responsibilities if your girlfriend gets pregnant.
Thirdly, sex is not a good way to get back at your parents or assert your independence. Do you think your parents are going to give you your freedom if they know you had gotten a sexually transmitted disease? They would probably disown you or all the more control you even further. Remember, when you have sex for the wrong reasons you hurt yourself! Like I said, you lose your virginity once, so please make sure you are losing it to the right one. Do not regret later because it would be too late.
If you are sexually active there are some important things you should know about the sex act itself. There is so much more to think about than whether or not you are doing it right but this is the thing people tend to worry about the most. Rest assured that there really is no right or wrong way to have sex. But personal advise, having sex is the ultimate shared physical expression of love between two people, and you have to be confident about your decision if you want the experience to be a fulfilling one and also to avoid disappointment.
The emotional trauma that females face is higher than males. It is because females are more emotional and more relationship-oriented. So just imagine girls and guys, what will happen to you if you girls or guys, your girlfriend gets pregnant? Do you think you will be able to handle it? You can’t even go to the doctor to abort it as you might get arrested for having under age sex. When it comes to sex one thing that people should think about but rarely do is the law. There is age of consent a law surrounding how old you have to be in order to have sex and what constitutes consensual sex.
There are even laws about the kind of sex acts you can engage in. Example, the Muslim, law does not allow anus sex. So be sensitive towards these restrictions and abide accordingly. Here comes the must know facts about sex, unless you want to get pregnant, and you shouldn’t want this if you are a teen, birth control is a must. The only protection against STIs for sexually active people is a barrier method like a condom. This is a safe sex must even if you are using something else for birth control.
Oral sex is still sex and some STIs, including HIV and AIDS, can be transmitted orally. A barrier method, like a condom or dental dam, must be used for this type of sex as well. If your partner is under the age of consent, intoxicated or under the influence of drugs, pressured or threatened in any way, or asks you to stop at any point, you CAN NOT legally engage in sex. Any or all of these scenarios could result in your being charged with rape. You can get pregnant or catch an STI the very first time you have sex, even if you use protection.
It is always a risk. Birth control and STI protection must be used properly to be effective. Missed pills and doubled up condoms are the most common misuse of birth control and can result in pregnancy or STI transmission. There is no right or wrong way to have intercourse but if it hurts, or if it doesn’t feel right emotionally, you should stop right away. None of us can live in the world without being influenced by culture, tradition and religion. Most of the time, how we are now is because of the way our culture, tradition and beliefs are.
In other words, what we feel or experience in our culture allows and disallows, idealizes (says is good or right) or punishes (says is bad or wrong), what our culture tells us to feel comfortable with and tells us to be afraid of, the effect and influence it has on us, consciously and unconsciously. Religions like Islam and Christians, strongly forbid to pre-marital sex and many other religions discourage it too. However, most teenagers forget these when they are in the urge to have sex. And I wonder why? When your religion can influence you so much in so many things, why not in SEX?
Think about it every one! It is because you give in to your temptation, but is it really worth it? Is this how you show respect to your religion, your culture, your tradition, your beliefs? Think. If you are going to have sex you always ask yourself if you have: • a willing partner who is legally able to consent to sex • effective and properly used birth control • STI protection, a male or female condom • realistic expectations about what having sex will mean for you • the maturity to understand that sex has emotional and physical consequences • respect and trust between you and your partner
Lastly, before I end my speech let me enforce something that I learnt recently. Usually the love teenagers go through is immature Love which is a crush, characterized by thinking, feeling and behaving in very passionate ways. They would be preoccupied with each other, passionately aroused, extreme of emotions which leads them to having pre-marital sex. This is illusion people! This is not love! Before you engage in sex, see if your love has all these following three points; “COMMITMENT, INTIMACY AND PASSION”.
Intimacy means warmth, understanding, communication, support and sharing. Commitment means you have decided to devote yourself to a relationship and to work to maintain it. Passion here refers to physical arousal and desire, sexual longing and any strong emotional need for your partner. Couples who fulfill these are the ones who are in mature love and would be ready to take responsible for their actions. Is your relationship with your partner in that level already? If not, wait for the right time. Thank you for your kind attention