The the summary given, appropriate goals and plans

The planning stage:  In this stage, the client gets the opportunity to give a picture of what they want and how they perceive things would be better for them.  The counsellor plans an intervention for the client as well as personalises the problem and goal.  The client will be able to understand the path that he wants or needs to from the process of self-exploration.  The counsellor summarised the issues and situation faced by the client and when the counsellor is assured that the client agrees with the summary given, appropriate goals and plans will be formulated for the intervention.  To monitor the client’s progress of achieving his goals, specified goals which are set by the client are devised.  The counsellor guides the client in making his goals specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and has a time frame for him to achieve the goals.The first intervention that I did was to do a timeline where I discovered that I had seen myself as a victim in numerous occasions from an early age of 5.  I recognized a pattern of me continuing being a victim to my parents, siblings, teachers and friends.  Looking back at those incidents made me realised that I began to feel that I was nothing because of the way that I was treated.  Unconsciously, I tried hard to please people and at the same time I sabotaged some of my relationships for fear of rejection.  So, I decided to work on my self-esteem after getting to understand myself better through the intervention given.  The goal that I wanted to achieve was to attain a fundamental belief that I am lovable.The skill of personalising the problem and the goal is used by the counsellor to enable the client to take responsibility and acknowledge his involvement to solving his problem.  The counsellor also helps the client to become aware of how his behaviour contributes to the problem that he is facing.  It is either he contributes directly to the problem or it is due to his lack of involvement in the situation.  Thus, the goal for the client will direct him to do something constructive and make commitment which is attainable.  For example, I used to use food to supress my anger or frustrations and so the goal that I set was to either to have a walk or dance when I am upset to release my anger or frustration.  The client identifies suitable and organized steps in achieving his goals with the help of the counsellor.  The client’s feelings and behaviour are analysed by the counsellor who constantly provides feedback and support as the client plans in making changes in his behaviour.  In my achieving my goal to release my anger and frustration in a constructive manner, I was able to give myself time to recognize the feelings and the causes of those feelings to arise.  Most of the time, they are due to my automatic thought pattern.  So, by taking a walk I was able to recognize how my negative thought towards a situation made me feel upset.  I then challenged my thoughts and thus helped me to be more rational.  It gave me the opportunity to resolve the issues better by taking positive steps in working towards resolving the matter rather than dwelling in the negative emotion or problem.   At this stage, confrontation and immediacy skills will also be used by the counsellor.  When the counsellor notices that the client showed incongruity in his behaviour, the counsellor will bring it to the client’s attention so that it can be reduced when the client communicates with the counsellor.  Immediacy on the other hand is the ability of the counsellor to get the client to be aware of what is happening in their relationship at the present moment.  It invites the client to look at how he or the counsellor is feeling or explore how he is happening to him.  The counsellor may share what he seemed the client to be feeling at that moment.  For example, in regard to dealing with boundary issues, the counsellor may say this to the client, “I am a bit distracted as I just realised that I know the person whom you have just talked about.  I wonder if noticed my reaction and this is somehow preventing you to talk freely to me about it. The action stage:  The client is assisted to move towards the desire state after the planning stage is established.  Strategies for action is developed by the client and he is encouraged by the counsellor to carry out the plans to achieve his goals.  The client identifies suitable and orderly steps for him to take up gradually to achieve his goal.  The aim of this stage is to support the client to act on the plans agreed on to solve his problem.  It is imperative that the client is not push into doing things to please the counsellor.  The client could also think of positive reinforcers that he could reward himself with upon achieving each step towards the goal.  This is to keep the client motivated to keep on working towards his goal.  I used to give myself simple and affordable treats whenever I achieve the steps that I had planned such as buying myself a nice dessert or going for a movie.Questions which the counsellor could use to facilitate the identification of steps towards reaching the goals are:1. What will you do first?  When?2. What will you do next?  When?The initial step that I took in forming the belief that I am lovable was to list down my positive traits and talents that I possess.  Since I enjoy art, I created a flower with my positive traits and talents written on the petals.  Every day as I get myself ready to go to school I would look at the mirror and tell myself one of the traits that I have.  I would thank God for that trait or talent which reminds me that I am created in His image and likeness.  This made me feel good that I am loved by Him to have been given such trait and talent.  The second step that I took up was to accept compliments and acknowledge praise positively received from others.  I never realised it until my counsellor brought it up during one of the sessions where she said that she noticed that I never seem to be accepting any of the compliments that she gave to me.  Every step that I took, I reminded myself that I was doing it in God’s presence and that He is pleased with me and even if I made a mistake He is ever forgiving.  I noticed that as I renewed my relationship with God, I felt better about myself and thus I started to look after myself better.  My students noticed the changes that I made in myself, one of which was I started to dress better!The evaluation and termination stage:  It is vital for the counsellor to do an evaluation before terminating the counselling process as it is an important element of the counselling process.  In evaluation, the client gives feedback as to how he has taken action to attain his goals and the progress that he has made.  Even though evaluation is carried out throughout the counselling process, it is done at this stage with the purpose of terminating the counselling process to avoid ending the process abruptly.  The following steps are taken to ensure that the counselling process is terminated systematically.1. The readiness for the termination of the counselling process is evaluated.2. The client is informed in advance in regard to terminating the counselling process.3. The readiness for the termination of the counselling is discussed with the client.4. The course of action plan is reviewed together by the client and the counsellor.5. The counsellor emphasizes that the effecting change is the responsibility of the client.6. The counsellor informed the client to be wary of ‘flight into health’ whereby the client when faced with the prospect of therapy may suddenly seem to be making an abrupt recovery.7. The counsellor gives instruction on managing adaptive functioning so that the client will be able to manage the common demands in life.  8. The counsellor discusses with the client on the follow up sessions and assures his availability in case the client experiences a relapse.Before my counselling session was ended, my counsellor explained to me the points mentioned above.  I felt excited about moving on independently and at the same time took note of conscious efforts that I need to make so that I will not fall into the same pit again.  The assurance that the counsellor gave me about the progress that I had made, gave me the confidence to continue to work on the steps that I had planned for myself in achieving my goals.ConclusionThe Xtina approach centres at the uniqueness and power that each individual possesses which enables the person to find ways to resolve his issues in life.  The godliness characteristics that we are given help to strengthen our self-worth and it is finding our self-worth in the eyes of God will we be able to truly love ourselves unconditionally.  The experiences that the client has through the counselling session must reinforces the belief that one is made in God’s image and likeness and that everyone is loved unconditionally by God.